The important things in life

Now that Thanksgiving is out of the way, we can finally get on to the more important things in life.

Like football. Specifically, the Egg Bowl. You know the one. "The Battle for the Golden Egg." The game Mississippi State has won three years in a row (thanks Dan). The divisive rivalry that divides families like red and blue states during election season. A tradition unlike any other (except for the Masters).

The EGG BOWL. 

Where MSU sports its fresh, pristine jerseys with golden letters. 

Where The School Up North sports its 3-game losing streak with golden opportunities lost in the last minutes (thanks LSU).

And now, without further ado, a few attempts at jokes against TSUN. TSUN is so bad, they...

-are currently known more for their golden teeth than their golden trophies. 

-are, at the least, satisfied with having a comfortable place to host Texas and drink themselves to death. 

-are more likely to score a goose egg than to touch a golden egg. 

-are genuinely happy about winning five games this year, but must be kinda sad they no longer get to make Houston Nutt jokes.

-are celebrating the one-year anniversary of going 2-10, losing to Jacksonville St. and becoming African-American bears, oh my!

So grab your golden cowbell and prepare for a great capper to a great season on ESPNU at 6 p.m. And if you do wanna risk going to an abysmal stadium in Oxford with those TSUN fans, be sure and give 'em hail.